


Hidden Desires

by CallMeLanceMclame



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Dirty Talk, Double Penetration, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Polyamory, Sex, Spitroasting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-04-18 11:10:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14211870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeLanceMclame/pseuds/CallMeLanceMclame
Summary: “F-fuck -- Keith..” Lance panted fervently, his fist clenched around his own throbbing cock. 'This is Keith, this is his hand working me up,' his back arched and his thighs shook as the pleasure began to build to a toe curling boil





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I actually started this fic a while ago and just recently came back to it. I'm actually working on three fics simultaneously so to anyone whos been reading, "The Martyr," don't worry - it will get finished.  
> That being said, I hope you enjoy the first chapter of Hidden Desires.

\-----

_ A month ago _

\----   
       It was late. The night stretched its shadowy arms down the corridors of the large castle ship, the darkness only punctuated by small rays of starlight as the ship drifted in the deep abyss of space. The ship would have seemed  to be deserted if not for the muffled sounds of panting coming from inside one of the many rooms crafted into the castle halls. Inside, a tall and thin boy, dark skinned, with brown hair framing his narrow face lay in bed, the covers wound tightly around him. His eyes were closed and his face flushed, his teeth clenched over his pillow as if to stifle the noises coming from his mouth.

       It had been two months - two months since Shiro had disappeared; but to Lance it seemed like a lifetime.  Shiro’s disappearance was distressing for several reasons, but the one at the front of his mind was Keith. Keith - who he loved, who he had finally started to connect with - had changed. He was cold and bitter and he took his anger out on everyone on the team. Especially Lance. Keith had idolized Shiro, perhaps even loved him. Lance knew Keith would never feel that way towards him and had tried so hard to move on. Yet every night, when he was sure everyone was asleep, Lance let his desires free.

       “F-fuck -- Keith..” Lance panted fervently, his fist clenched around his own throbbing cock.  _ This is Keith, this is his hand working me up, _ his back arched and his thighs shook as the pleasure began to build to a toe curling boil. It was hot, so hot he thought he could die just from the images that flashed through his mind. Keith’s hands, Keith’s eyes, Keith’s mouth. _ Just a little more… I’m almost there _ . The familiar build up of heat and pressure in his lower abdomen was almost too much and he suddenly jolted, his legs spasming as his orgasm built up. “Oh god.. I can’t ngh,,,,haaah-AH!” with a shudder and a soft cry, Lance came into his own hand, the warm sticky fluid coating his inner thighs.

His body continued to shudder as a mixture of exhaustion and shame washed over him. He felt horrible and disgusting, he knew Keith would never feel that way towards him and, he knew Keith was in a fragile and vulnerable place right now. Yet, here he was covered in his own cum, thinking of him for the fifteenth night in a row. Sitting up, Lance grabbed a tissue from behind the bed and quickly cleaned himself up, discarding the used tissue into the waste paper basket under the desk. 

       A second wave of exhaustion washed over him and he trudged back over and collapsed on the bed, giving into the overwhelming urge to shut his eyes as sleep quickly overtook him.

\----

_ Three weeks ago _

\----

Shiro had finally returned to them, and like the others, Lance had been thrilled and relieved to find him alive. The paladins and Coran, had all rushed to his side, refusing to leave. They waited by the healing pod for one full day as it did it’s magic. They were all anxious but Lance couldn’t help but stare at Keith, who paced and forth, anxiously chewing at his thumbnail. He wanted to say something but it seemed pointless - Keith wasn’t going to calm down until Shiro woke up.

       When the pod finally hissed open, and Shiro fell out, fully awake, they all burst into tears, taking turns to greet him and give him a hug. At Keith’s turn however, the then black paladin, flung his arms around Shiro’s neck, cupping his face and pressing their lips together as tears of relief poured down his cheeks. Though surprised Shiro returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around him and sliding his fingers through the younger man’s black hair.

Pidge and Allura groaned, rolling their eyes and Hunk yelled out, “ABOUT TIME!” and the two grinned happily, pulling away from each other, faces glowing. Lance’s heart broke in two, but he did his best to hide it, he had always guessed Keith’s feelings for Shiro, but he had never imagined how much it would actually hurt. He was relieved when Coran shooed the rest of them away in order to give the two space, and he quickly excused himself to go to his room, ignoring Hunk’s invitation to hang out.   
\----------

_ Now _

\----------

Lance had been awake for several hours, long before his alarm rang. Lately, waking up early had become the norm, but if he was being honest, he relished the solitude it gave him before he was forced to socialize with everyone else. Acting as though everything was normal was exhausting, but he knew he had to keep up the charade. Lance knew himself very well, and he knew that the moment someone asked the dreaded question, “hey, what’s wrong?” he would break down, and he refused to make Shiro and Keith’s new relationship awkward. He didn’t want them to hate him and he didn’t want the rest of the team to think he was selfish.

With a sigh, he finally rolled out of bed, slowly dressing himself and walking into the kitchen. The rest of the team was already in there, each involved in their own activity; Pidge, holding a spoon in her mouth, was fiddling with a small metallic device, Hunk was deep in conversation with Allura and Coran, and Keith and Shiro were leaning against each other, talking in low hushed tones.

Lance supposed he should be grateful that they were busy as it meant he could quickly eat and leave without having to force a smile on his face. He grabbed a plate and sat at the opposite end of the table, closer to Pidge and began to eat, Quickly shoving spoonfuls of food goo into his mouth, he wasn’t aware that the others were watching him out of the corner of their eyes, and the moment he finished, he grinned and said, “‘scuse me, I’m gonna hit the training deck,” and left the room, without another word.

After a few moments of silence, Pidge was the first to speak up, “Are we gonna talk about this or are we going to continue to pretend that we haven’t noticed?” she asked, thoughtful lowering the spoon from her mouth and placing the device back into her pocket.    

       Shiro sighed, sitting up straight and looking guilty, “he’s been like this ever since I got back. Keith said he wasn’t like this before, do you think it’s my fault?”

       “Why the hell would it be your fault?” Keith mumbled running his hands irritably through his hair. He wasn’t going to admit it, but seeing Lance like this was starting to get to him.   


       “Well,” replied Shiro slowly, “you said he wasn’t like this before, and thanks to us always being together, I haven't really said more then two words to him since I’ve been back.”   


       “I don’t think it’s your fault,” Hunk interjected, “but it is obvious that something is bothering him.”

 

       “Well if he has a problem, why doesn’t he just say it instead of acting like this?” Keith bristled, standing up and pacing around the room.

 

       “Lance isn’t the kind of guy who talks about his feelings unless he can’t hold them anymore, especially when he thinks they are going to inconvenience people.” Hunk explained calmly.   
  
“It’s been three weeks!” Keith shot back, rounding on Hunk who put his hands up defensively, “he can’t avoid us forever!”

 

       “Keith, I know you’re upset, but you have to be patient and take Lance’s feelings into consideration.” Allura stated calmly, as Coran nodded in agreement.   
  
“I-” Keith started hotly, whipping around to face her.   
  
Shiro held up his hand to silence him, “Keith - that’s enough.” 

 

       For a moment, it seemed as though Keith would argue, but he sighed and slumped his shoulders,  feeling defeated. Nodding, he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall pursing his lips.He still felt frustrated and angry and Shiro, who was perceptive as always, picked up on it immediately, comfortingly ran his fingers through the younger man’s hair. “I’ll talk to Lance and see what I can do, okay?” he assured Keith, pulling him into a hug.

       Keith didn’t resist the hug, and though he eagerly buried his face into the crook of Shiro’s neck, as his thoughts returned to Lance, he couldn’t help but feel worried, “Okay.” he replied simply. “I’ll leave it you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The confession.

\-------  
Later that afternoon  
\-------

    The door hissed open and Shiro walked in, taking in the sight. Training bots littered the floor around Lance, who was trapped between the wall and his own cracked shield. The last three bots ran forwards, each firing their guns towards the blue paladin. As the shield splintered, there was a loud clatter as Lance hit the ground, bayard spinning away from him across the sleek, metallic floor. “End training sequence,” he wheezed, clutching his abdomen and rolling to lay on his back, panting heavily.

       Impressed, Shiro walked over and crouched down next to Lance.  “You’ve really improved,” he commented with a smile.

       Lance didn’t immediately reply, instead opting to turn his head away from the older paladin. When he did speak, it was only after he managed to slide a fake smile over his face. “I guess,” he panted, sitting up. “But I’m still not as good as you or Keith.”

       Frowning, Shiro stood up and offered his hand to Lance, “Hey...can we talk?” he asked apprehensively, brow furrowing.

       Lance accepted his hand and hoisted himself up. “Sure, what’s on your mind?” Lance replied, wandering over to the bench. Sitting down, he picked up his towel, draping it over his neck,  and snatched up his water bottle, taking a gulp before turning his attention back to Shiro.

       Tentatively sitting next to him, Shiro turned to face Lance, looking troubled. “Did I - did I do something wrong?” he asked.

       Lance lowered his water bottle in surprise, “What?...why would you think that?” he replied, feeling annoyed with himself. He had tried so hard to act normal, but it seemed like the others were starting to catch on.

       “Well, there’s several things,” Shiro began slowly. “Ever since I’ve returned to Voltron, you’ve been avoiding everyone.” Lance opened his mouth to interrupt, but the older man held up a finger to silence him. “You’re always excusing yourself to get away from us, and when you can’t find a reason to leave, you put on that stupid fake smile thinking no one will notice. Keith already told me that you weren’t like this before I returned. In fact, he said that you guys were closer than ever. I mean, I know that since Keith and I got together, we really haven't had time to spend with you, so is that it, or is it just me?”

       Tensing up, Lance attempted to explain away his recent behavior, but it was all to much. Even as a child, bottling up his emotions usually led to him breaking down. Tears began to sting the corners of his eyes and he sat up, desperately looking for an exit. “I’m fine,” he choked wiping his eyes.

       Shiro hadn’t know what to expect from this talk; he had, of course, hoped that Lance would open up to him, but he thought that Lance might try to change the subject, or even lie. However tears were not on that list and he immediately tensed up. “Hey, wait Lance I didn’t mean to-” he trailed off lamely.   
  
       Shaking his head, Lance walked towards the door, “I need to shower,” he choked out, leaving a very confused Shiro to contemplate what just happened.

\------  
That night  
\------

    Night had once again fallen over the castle ship. In his room, Lance lay motionless on his back, left arm draped over his face. He had been crying off and on for the last few hours, and as a result, his eyes were red and puffy. With a sigh, Lance sat up, running his fingers through his hair. He supposed he should have expected this. As much as he wanted to be able to hold everything in like Keith, he just wasn’t that type of guy. Perhaps that was why Keith liked Shiro so much. Their black paladin really was amazing; he was strong, and stoic and it was hard not to feel safe around him. In fact, when they first met, Lance had fallen pretty hard.

       Lance buried his face into his pillow and sighed. It’s not as though that crush ever really went away, but from the very beginning, Lance was hyper aware that he was nowhere near good enough for Shiro. Come to think of it, he really wasn’t good enough for Keith either. Keith was loyal and cool and Shiro was calm and intelligent and they just seemed to be the perfect match. Then there was Lance, a skinny little nobody who wasn’t even really good enough to be in Voltron in the first place

       Just as Lance let out another sigh, there was a soft knock on the door. Nearly jumping out of his skin, Lance looked at the earth clock on table next to his bed; 1:00am. Who the fuck is knocking at this time at night? Lance thought incredulously. When he didn’t immediately get up to answer, Lance heard Keith’s muffled voice through the metalic doors, “Lance, I know you’re awake, I can hear you sighing from down the hall.”

       Lance’s heart leapt into his throat and he scrambled out of bed, opening the door and there was Keith. Clad in black plaid pajamas,the red paladin stood in front of him, lips pursed and arms crossed. “Keith,” Lance breathed, face heating up, “What are you-?”

       Keith held up a hand to interrupt, “What the hell is your deal, Mclain?” Keith asked irately.

       “I don’t know what you-?” before Lance could finish, Keith stepped inside the room, pushing Lance hard onto his bed, looking angry.

       “I don’t know if you hate me and Shiro, and at this point, I just don’t care, but your mood is affecting everyone and you need to-” Keith began hotly, his hands clenched into to fists.  
  
       Tears welled up in Lance’s eyes and he finally blurted out what he had been hiding all this time, “I love you,” he whispered.

       Keith froze, shock written all over his face, “You lo-.”

       Lance continued, “I love you, Keith,  and not just you. I love you and Shiro so much that it hurts. Things were fine at first, I had given up on Shiro and I was hiding my feelings for you and it wasn’t supposed to go any farther than that. But then Shiro left and you changed! I tried to be there for you, tried to make you happy, tried not to let my feelings get in the way, but you were so angry!” His voice shook and tears began to fall freely. Now that he had started, he just couldn’t stop and the flood gates opened. “You snapped at me every time I opened my mouth and you lashed out at everyone and it hurt so much. I really didn’t realize how much I loved you until that moment and everything went to fucking shit!” he sobbed, sitting up on his knees to face Keith, who’s mouth fell open in shock. “And then Shiro came back and we were all overjoyed - me included - and that hasn’t changed, Keith. I’m so relieved that he’s back and that he’s safe and I’m so glad that you two are happy together because I love you both so much and that’s all I want for you both!” Keith opened his mouth again but Lance shook his head, voice growing louder, “Does it hurt that you guys never talk to me anymore? Yes! Does it hurt everytime I see you kiss? Yes! But you guys are happy and that’s what matters to me so I’m fine, Keith. I’m completely fine so get the hell out of my room!” Lance yelled getting up and shoving the red paladin back through the doors.

       Keith stumbled backwards and just gaped at him, completely at a loss for words, but before he could so much as blink, Lance choked back a sob, “Just...go back with Shiro, Keith.” And with that he shut the door, leaving the red paladin in complete and utter shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This physically hurt me to write, i am sorry T u T


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beach episode everyone wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long dely, my editor has been busy and I decided to upload this now and add the revisions when they can get around to it. Thank you for your patience.

       Lance awoke to tendrils of sunlight peeking through the window of his bedroom. With a sigh, he buried himself deep under the covers to hide his face. He had hoped against hope that last night was a dream, but the moment his eyes had fluttered open, the memories had poured back in, and he was completely mortified. He couldn’t believe he had said that, and it was obvious that Keith would probably tell Shiro about last night’s events. He could never show his face to them again!    
  


       Suddenly he sat up straight, the realization striking him,  _ sun?’ _ he thought incredulously.  _ ‘But last night we were in space. Where the hell are we? _ ’ After getting out of bed and quickly getting dressed, Lance cautiously peered out the door. The hallway was empty and he didn’t hear any sounds coming from the kitchen. After briefly exploring the castle, he approached the entrance hall, surprised to see it wide open.   
  
Drawing his bayard from the pocket of his jeans, he slowly exited the ship, and what he saw made his jaw, and nearly his bayard, drop. He was standing in the blinking sunlight on a brightly lit beach. The ocean was a cerulean blue, and many alien families were already splashing in its clear, crisp waters.  Glancing around, he saw his fellow paladins, already clad in swimwear, set up under a beach umbrella and enjoying some delicious looking smoothies. When they saw him, Hunks face split into a grin and he waved Lance over

       “What is all this?” Lance asked striding over, momentarily forgetting his stress and breaking out in a grin. 

       Hunk handed him a smoothie as Lance tucked the bayard back into his pants. “It was Keith’s and Shiro’s idea! They said we could all use a break.”   
  
Lance looked at the aforementioned paladins, who gazed back at him, expressions unreadable, and felt his face flush, “I see...well, i should go change into something more beach appropriate. Be right back!” and he took off back towards the ship.   
  
Keith who was sitting in Shiro’s lap, clad in a red swimsuit and a pair of dark sunglasses, looked up at the black paladin feeling worried, “Do you think he liked it?” he asked anxiously.   


        Shiro smiled reassuringly, shifting the red paladin in his lap, “I think he did. I think today is going to go well.” Keith nodded and relaxed, rubbing the edges of his boyfriend’s black trunks between his fingers.

       When Lance returned, wearing a pair of light blue swim trunks, Hunk and Pidge were already in the water, and Allura and Coran were at a stand, buying more smoothies. The only people left at the umbrellas were Shiro and Keith who were looking at him expectantly. For a brief moment, he considered ignoring them and going off to join Hunk and Pidge, but he knew that he had to get this over with.

       Lance slowly approached the two and sat cross legged on one of the towels, facing them apprehensively. “Listen-” he began, not exactly sure what he was going to say. Shiro held up a finger to silence him, and his mouth snapped shut, anxiety blooming in his stomach.   
  
“Keith told you what you said last night.” Shiro began lifting Keith out of his lap so he could look Lance in the eye. “I’m not upset Lance and neither is Keith. We just wish you would have told us. We were worried that you hated us and we care about you so that thought was pretty distressing to think about.”  
  
Lance snorted feeling embarrassed, “yeah, cause it’s so easy to come out and tell you. You guys are dating, telling you would only make things awkward and it’s not like it would change anything.”   
  
Keith and Shiro looked at each other, a mischievous glint in their eyes. “Just enjoy the beach for today Lance.” Keith grinned, “But tonight, stop by Shiro’s room at about 8 o'clock.”   
  
Lance looked confused,”what? Why?” he asked, eyes flickering between the two of them. When they didn’t elaborate he huffed and got up, heading in the direction of his other two friends. He was starting to feel angry. Were the mocking him? It didn’t seem like it but this definitely wasn’t how he was expecting this day to go. He didn’t worry about it too long however, and the moment his feet hit the water, all worries and stress melted out of him. Breaking out into an enormous smile he ran towards Hunk, leaping onto his back.

       Pidge grinned up at them both, “it’s nice  to see you smiling again Lance,” she teased, struggling to stay standing in the waves.

       “I always smile,” he shot back, pouting as he slid off of Hunk’s back.

       “She means a real smile, Lance.” Hunk explained, “not a ‘I’ve been hiding my feelings for Keith or Shiro and it’s breaking me’ fake smile.”   
  
Lance’s jaw dropped, “ _ they told you?! _ ” he asked angrily, taking a step back from his friends.

       “No,” Hunk replied with a laugh. “You’re my best friend buddy, you think I wouldn’t figure it out.”    
  
Snickering at Lance’s dumbfounded face. Pidge shook her head, “besides, we only guessed Lance, you kinda confirmed it for us.”

       Lance shut his mouth, looking like he swallowed a lemon as Hunk and Pidge doubled over with laughter. “So which one is it.” Pidge asked, wiping tears from her eyes.   
  
        Lance crossed his arms, trying hard not to smile, “What?” he replied pursing his lips. 

       “Don’t play stupid Lance we’re asking which one of them you have a crush on?” Pidge grinned.   
  
There was a long moment of silence, “Both...but...Its not meant to be.” He replied, smiling sadly. “Last night, I confessed to Keith and he of course told Shiro. I think they planned this beach trip to calm me down and then they asked me to stop by Shiro’s room tonight to let me down gently.” He glanced back at the beach to see the other two paladins whispering amongst themselves. Pidge and Hunk gave him a sympathetic look and hastily changed the subject. 

       The remainder of the day was surprisingly relaxing, and Lance felt better than he had in ages. However, in what felt like barely any time at all, they were all piling back on to the ship. Lance excused himself to head to the showers, and took his time cleaning off the sand and salt. After a hasty dinner he sighed and looked down at his watch which read 7:58pm.  
  
With a heavy heart, he made his way to Shiro’s room, shuffling his feet and going over every horrible possibility in his head. When he reached the door he hesitated before knocking three times. There was a moment of silence and then the door hissed opened and Shiro stepped back to let him in. Keith sat cross legged on the bed, his expression unreadable and after letting him in, Shiro sat next to him gazing up at Lance.   
  
Lance shifted his weight between his feet and when neither of them spoke, he broke the silence, “So….what am I doing here again?”   
  
Keith looked at Shiro who gave them both a reassuring smile, “Well...Keith and I have something to ask you Lance.” he replied, placing a hand over Keith’s knee. Lance looked at both of them, waiting for further explanation. 

       “When Keith told me about your confession, I wasn’t sure how to react at first. We spent a lot of time going back and forth discussing it and we think we both came up with something that should make all of us happy.” 

       Lance raised his eyebrow in response, “I see, and that would be?” he replied, anxiety blossoming in his stomach once again. Shiro opened his mouth to speak but suddenly there was the sound of loud blaring alarms. They all turned, wide eyed towards the door. They were under attack.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a Kudo's or a comment if you enjoy.
> 
> Also, on my tumblr, Ive been offering free drabble requests
> 
> Find my Blog [Here](https://spencerwrites.tumblr.com/)  
> Request Info [Here](https://spencerwrites.tumblr.com/post/172327365996/so-im-gonna-start-accepting-requests-for-short)


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